Memory – Pieces of a Puzzle

A photo blog

This past August my partner Eric and I went on a road trip to visit his Mom. I took some photos along the way to document the trip and posted them on Instagram as so many do nowadays, not only to share with others but simply as a way of chronicling a journey and capturing my memories. I couldn’t help but think when visiting Eric’s Mom, Tish, who is in the beginning stages of dementia, that these images currently bring to mind experiences for me that may not remain in my consciousness in the decades to come.

I do hope that should I get to the phase in life where I am faced with a clinical diagnosis of dementia of some kind I am able to process it as well as Tish has. She does as much as she can to stop the progress of the disease but also understands that it is part of life and has an acceptance that I admire. When my Grandmother was faced with the same prognosis she was overtaken with anger and because of pride (and perhaps fear) often unable to come to terms with it. Losing cognitive function can feel like losing your sense of self I suppose – because what are we without our memories.

I have had many thoughts floating around after the trip in the past few months about memory, images and stories. One of the elements of this trip I treasure is getting to hear a bit from Tish about her life well before I knew her – and even a bit about before Eric came to be. Leah suggested I share some of the photos of the trip as a photo blog – and I am jumping on that as a way of memorializing my own memories. Hopefully, it evokes some memories and stories for you the reader/viewer as well!

LEAVING LOS ANGELES

We stop off in Las Vegas for brunch at a wonderful new cafe we discovered during our recent trip to the Nevada Women’s Film Festival (which always screens memorable films)! Ameribrunch – Road Closed Ahead!

UTAH part 1

OUR FIRST BOOKSTORE – ST. GEORGE, UT

SAND HOLLOW STATE PARK, UT

ZION – KOLOB CANYONS

Taylor Creek Trail – The snake we met along the route has the right of way. No photo from me of her… I am just glad she hissed at us and then was satisfied with us backing up.
Lucky isn’t the first adjective to come to mind… but since we were not bitten… I will say we were lucky to have briefly “met her.” We also ran into a couple from LA and were inspired to try hiking the Narrows on the back end of the trip .

The hike before the snake:

BOOKSTORES – SALT LAKE CITY, UT

WE MAKE IT TO MONTANA

Missoula

MISSOULA WITH MOM

MONTANA SKIES

PUTTING PIECES OF THE PUZZLE TOGETHER

First in-person yoga since the start of the pandemic and a Bigfoot siting

THE DRIVE HOME… through Our Own Private Idaho…and Craters of the Moon

UTAH part 2

Zion and the Utah Shakespeare Festival

The Narrows hike didn’t happen because of this….

OUR LAST BOOKSTORE

TROUBLE IN MIND and the Sculpture Garden

BACK TO LOS ANGELES

One last Bigfoot siting on our way home…

Yet for all that, Cousin…

By Jess Hutchinson

Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson in Much Ado About Nothing

Yet for all that cousin, let [it] be a [job that aligns with your values, respects your boundaries, offers equitable pay that allows you to thrive, thoughtful management, and human-centered policies],

Or else make another curtsy and say ‘[Employer], as it please me.’

Much Ado About Nothing if Beatrice was job hunting in this economy. Or so I imagine.

I recently wrote the most brazen cover letter of my life. This was for the top job at a nonprofit I know well – a job that I had already told myself I didn’t want. But then came a gchat from a dear friend that was basically “you applied for this, right? I just told the recruiter to hire you,” and over the course of telling him why I had not in fact applied for the job I whipped myself into a frenzy about what I would love to do if I were given the reigns. “See? This is why you should apply,” he said. And so, I did. And I was honest.

Some excerpts:

The many systems of oppression baked into the foundation of this country and our city are also alive and well in our arts and culture organizations. And now, the American theater has come to a crossroads. As we continue to emerge from two and a half grueling pandemic years, the dual forces of nostalgia and a scarcity mindset are encouraging us to scurry “back to normal” as quickly and cheaply as we can. But we are not the same people we were in February 2020. We have an opportunity to recognize that “normal” wasn’t working for everyone, which means it wasn’t working full stop.

I believe the [organization] can lead by example and take the combined opportunities of the broader cultural context and its own leadership transition to ask the deep, existential questions that so many in our field are afraid to ask.

If given the opportunity to serve as the [organization’s] next [HBIsugarcoatC], I would, with care and rigor, take this organization down to the studs.

I believe that, in order to be able to deeply listen to and integrate the community’s feedback, the next [leader] as well as the Board of Directors must be able to stomach the possibility that the answer [to whether the org is serving its community] is “no” or at least “not like this.” I am not advocating in advance for the dissolution of the organization I’m applying to lead – but I want to be clear that without creating room to openly ask deeply existential questions about an organization’s efficacy within its community, continued relevance, let alone new growth, is never possible.

I had a lovely first interview with the firm leading the search. The recruiter asked me for my availability for the next round. And then – the selection committee did not invite me to move forward. But what I got from the experience of telling the full, unvarnished truth in this process is proving to be far more valuable.

Having been socialized as female in the capitalist hellscape of the late 80s/early 90s, I was taught that the path to success was paved with saying no to drugs and “following my bliss.” I was assured that I could grow up to be anything I wanted to be if I worked hard, was a good girl, didn’t cause trouble, and waited my turn.

Fast forward 30 years, and this conditioning, like a polka-dotted Mary Engelbreit nightmare, bloomed where it was planted, and here I am, spending a great deal of time, effort, and therapy working to weed a whole seed catalog’s worth of perfectionistic, people-pleasing invasive species out of my brain garden. Figuring out what I actually want, what “bliss” or at least contentment looks like, how to essentialize my values and let alignment with them measure my success (rather than counting the pages in my sticker-book of “attagirls,” admiring the artifacts of a job well done begrudgingly affixed to it by the powers that be): this might be, as it turns out, my most challenging life’s work.

For perhaps the first time, while I wrote this cover letter and answered first interview questions, I didn’t sugar coat my ideas or try to bend my responses into what I thought would please the search committee. I owned my experience, my point of view, and my understanding of the moment in which we find ourselves and the work I believe is required to anchor our efforts in authentic equity and justice. Turns out, I might no longer be content to be a good girl, to not cause trouble, to place other people’s approval over my own integrity and vision.

When I was younger, I remember hearing that the difference between a woman under 30 and a woman over 40 was this: a woman under 30 walks into a room thinking “oh god, I hope they like me” while a woman over 40 walks into a room thinking “oh god, I hope I like them.” This is, as is any such distillation, an oversimplification. But here’s what: I remember hearing that in my 20’s and thinking “oh god, I hope it’s true.”

Well, Past Jessie, I’m happy to report that, at least when it comes to how you make the money that lets you live inside the house, it just might be.

A Story in Memoriam

Last month, our community suffered a huge and very unexpected loss.

Deborah Napier was a remarkable human being – her talent and humor were somehow, inexplicably, matched by her generosity of spirit, friendship, and unwavering support of her friends and colleagues.

There are so many stories we could share, but we loved what our own Jennifer Dean wrote in a fitting tribute.

By Jennifer Dean

I met Deborah Napier in the catering world and like so many in that world, she was talented and creative – and I was lucky enough to get to work with her creatively. She was a wonderful loyal friend and a hilarious co-worker, but for this post I want to tell a story about Deb – the actor/writer/director

May be an image of 2 people

When I showed Deb the above shot she referred to it as her “Law and Order” look. We were working on a 30-second video idea she had for a competition. She had mentioned it to me during a catering event – and I offered up shooting and editing it. Despite my being new to film school and not really knowing what I was doing, she took me up on it. I am not quite sure if the other elements also came together at various events (her friend Rachel suggested the location, her friend Brett acted in it) – but she made it all work in a super short amount of time. My friend Daniel from film school joined us to help out and we shot the bulk of it in an afternoon.

Deb’s idea was to have a horde of cats chasing her at the end of the short. Well that was WELL beyond my VFX skill set… but she was gracious enough to work with me to come up with something simpler – using my favorite neighbor cat Thomas and the pig outside Rudy’s… Well here’s the thing – we didn’t know anyone at Rudy’s and didn’t have permission to shoot there. I figured we could just quickly get the shots on my small DSLR camera without anyone noticing… of course, I was not at all experienced and things didn’t go as smoothly as I figured they would.

SO… of course we got caught by the bouncer – who it turns out was an actor who had been on “Orange is the New Black.” Deb being Deb ended up chatting with and charming him so not only did we get to finish shooting, but he offered to help us and bought us both a drink when we were done.

Deb was a creative force in so many ways. She supported so many in their work as well as exploring different forms of expression herself. She will be missed – and remembered.

One of my favorite lines in literature is at the end of a chapter in Madame Bovary – “elle n’existe plus”… which literally translates to “she no longer exists.” When I first read it, I thought to myself, ah yes but this is far from the end of the book, we have at least another chapter, and the titular character is no longer… she doesn’t cease to exist because there’s more to the book. She lives on in memories and those she has affected in life.

Deb lives on with those of us she has touched and I look forward to the time when the memories make me laugh not cry.

Sending hugs to all who loved and lost her.

the 30-second video from that day way back when

My Pandemic Diary Drawings

Original drawings and text by Judith Sussman

When friends suggested that I capture these surreal times by drawing empty NYC streets, I thought that was too depressing.

Then I got the idea to do these “Diary Drawings” of my experiences and observations living through this pandemic…

PANDEMIC WALKS summarizes the daily walks my friend and I take, often in Soho,  and some of the architecture we got to admire especially in the beginning when there was little traffic or other distractions. But even now my walks with my neighbor are all about interesting discoveries in architecture, murals, street performers, etc.  

Pandemic Walks

CO-OP LIFE is more about the differences in living in a large co-op during a pandemic.

Co-Op Life

SHELTERING IN PLACE is about the initial lockdown and all we had to do, and not do, differently.

Sheltering in Place

DIFFERENTIATING DAYS was in response to so many people asking me what I did all day. And aren’t I bored? (NO!!!)

Differentiating Days

PANDEMIC-INDUCED SELF RELIANCE is all the things we needed to learn to do without our “support system” of housekeepers, handymen, nail salons, trainers, etc.

Pandemic-Induced Self Reliance

UNDER MY WINDOW relates how the protestors affected my neighborhood – and while they were certainly loud, they were peaceful (except for the looters who, for 2-3 days, infiltrated the protests and made them look lawless).

Under My Window

BEYOND HAPPINESS “Sometimes muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone”

By Aaron Andrews, CEO/Founder of Beyond Happiness; Edited by head of Operations & Production, Jennie Moss

 Where Did It All Start?

I have personally dealt with depression and anxiety while growing up and wanted to create a space where I could deal with all of the emotions I was feeling. I did not have friends I could talk to or anyone who understood what I was going through at the time. I naturally started to take matters into my own hands as I began to focus on taking care of myself more. Beyond Happiness Is broken into three main avenues of wellness that I have built for myself.

Products: One of the ways I did that was through skincare. Unfortunately, I could not find any products on the market that were a good fit for my skin type as men of color. The market for beauty products for black men was minimal, so I researched and started creating my own skincare products that worked for me. I developed each product intending to help me with the different emotions I was dealing with at the time. For example, there was a time when I was dealing with a lot of anxiety, so I made a cream with lavender to help calm me down. The products become a way for me to check in emotionally with myself through physically being present with what I’m putting on my skin.

Events: Being active and connecting with people was a huge stepping stone for my wellness. The act of me taking care of my skin spun into multiple different ways I engaged with health. I started to work out a lot more, became a certified fitness trainer in my first year at Hampshire College, and worked at the YMCA in Northampton, Massachusetts. As a result of me taking charge of my wellness and developing healthy ways to cope, I immersed myself in new relationships and friendships with people in hopes of building a community and meaningful experiences for myself and others around me. Now I can host events through Beyond Happiness that encapsulate different aspects of wellness while helping others share stories and connect with themselves. 

For Anyone Having a Bad Day

Videos: I can think back to when I was fifteen years old. I remember the first time I got a device on which I could record video. I would create many videos of my friends and film everything that meant something to me. My friends would ask, “Aaron, why are you always filming stuff” At the time, I didn’t have an answer besides “I just like to,” But today, I do have an answer. I make videos because sometimes people can’t say what they are thinking or feeling and when I film people and myself, I can capture the emotions and feelings that can’t be told in words but only in moments. As a result of taking care of my skin, working out, eating healthy, creating new friendships, and learning about wellness, I was able to create an environment where I was actively managing my depression and anxiety and completely changed my life. Beyond Happiness has improved my life in all areas, and I got excited about figuring out how to help others overcome their own wellness struggles. I am not saying I can cure depression or anxiety. I have realized that I can share with people the tools to help them manage it themselves.

That is how Beyond Happiness was born – a multimedia business/brand. Our mission is to help other people love who they are and provide tools where different people can learn more about themselves while engaging with unique, sustainable skincare products and wellness-related video content. As you see, it is more than just skincare products. It is about wellness overall. I like to say, “Happiness is not what you go get. Happiness is what you do every day.”

Feel encouraged to reach out: Aaron Andrews at thesocialbreakthrough@gmail.com / Jennie Moss, jenniemmoss@gmail.com

Always Go To The Show

By Jenn Marks; originally posted with Did We Jam

I can’t figure out how to start this post. I imagine by the time you read this, you already know the sad news. I hope you do; I don’t want this to be the way you learn. Then again, maybe this rambling tribute is the right way to learn.

On December 9, 2021, Rod Pursell passed away and my life is radically changed. I’m still wavering between disbelief and acceptance and there are a lot (A LOT) of tears as a backdrop to those feelings.

I still vividly remember the first time that I ‘met’ Rod. We had noticed each other at shows for some time, but had never spoken. It was Hardly Strictly Bluegrass 2015 and Andee was in town. Andee and I were doing our regular stage-hopping and as we walked towards one stage (I believe we were heading to the Banjo stage), Rod was walking away from the stage passing us. He looked at me and he said ‘oh, you again.’ and just kept walking. Something about the snarkiness of it all struck me in just the right way. And so a friendship was made; a friendship that really changed my life for the past 6 years.

And I can’t believe it’s only been 6 years; it feels like there was never a time since I returned to the Bay Area that Rod wasn’t around, but I added him to the Live Music email list (the predecessor of this blog) on November 2, 2015. One of the listings in that particular Live Music email was as follows:

An Evening with Cowboy Junkies at GAMH on Thursday, January 21st and Friday, January 22nd. The last time I went to see Cowboy Junkies, I fell asleep so I’ll probably pass on this.

Rod responded to the email / list saying that it was quite a list and talked about his next shows, etc and then he wrote the following and sent me the photo below.

“I do have one word of advice when talking music with me: Careful what you say about the Cowboy Junkies. 😉 I absolutely love them. I will be there both nights at GAMH, and the next two nights in Grass Valley and Santa Cruz. Here’s a picture from several years ago”

FWIW – My response to his email was ‘who’s the guy in the photo? ;-)’ I never saw Rod without his beard; only photos. His beard was sometimes the reason people would approach us at shows. If I had a $1 for every time some dude approached Rod to talk about his beard, I could definitely buy you and me a good local IPA (SF prices) and probably leave a very reasonable tip as well. Women also would comment, but the beard wasn’t the siren call for them that it seemed to be for men.

From one of my live music email / correspondences with a dude named Joe after a Damien Jurado show at the Chapel: Who is the dude next to you with the huge beard?  He makes so many shows and always up front. Impressive.  I spoke with him once – what makes it more impressive (or crazy) is he comes all the way from Los Banos!

When I first met Rod, he was still employed and would drive 4 – 5 hours roundtrip for shows in SF, but his work limited him sometimes. He was already talking about his retirement day when we met. I can’t actually remember when he retired, but he retired as soon as he could and once he retired, there was nothing to stop him from making the drive and going to the show. I’m so glad that he had those years of retirement and that I got to benefit from his availability and also his passion for live music.

The first show that Rod and I went to and hung out at in my calendar was Lucero at the Fillmore on November 20th. I know there were shows between HSB and that Lucero show where we talked (because one of those shows must have been the show where he gave me his email address so that he could be added to the Live Music list), but Lucero is the first one in my books where I included Rod’s name as part of the group of us. I’m pretty sure he was at The Lone Bellow show at the Fillmore on October 7, 2015. I’m also pretty sure that he was wearing his Shovels & Rope shirt (the one with cartoon / skeletal faces of Cary Ann and Michael that I also own, see below) and I’m pretty sure that Jessica struck up a conversation with him about that fact. I’m pretty sure that night was the first time that Rod and I actually talked, but his name isn’t listed in my notes. My memory isn’t what it should be, but this is the story that I will continue to tell.

Side Note / Request: If any of you have my annual recaps of the shows that I attended and the people who were with me, could you please contact me and let me know or if you have my email address, email them to me. When facebook deleted their notes, I lost many years of those lists (e.g., I have 2015 and 2017, but 2016 is definitely missing).

It wasn’t long before he was giving me rides to the closest bus stop after the show and then it wasn’t much longer after that before he was giving me rides home after shows. I’m sure by early 2016, he was both picking me up before shows and dropping me off after them. By the end of it, he would park when he came to get me if there was time, so that he could come in and visit with Spike* before we left for the show. In the beginning, I didn’t want to take the rides because I thought they were an inconvenience for him (and if you don’t already know me, I can be very fiercely independent, some might even say stubborn), but then I learned that he was already driving 4 – 5 hours roundtrip for these shows so his feeling was what were a few more minutes / miles. Eventually it was just an assumption that I would have a ride home from every show that Rod attended and that I would likely have a ride there too. The funny thing was that if he offered other people a ride home, he would check in with me to make sure I was okay with it. As if!

My car, Ellie, died on January 1, 2016 which severely limited my ability to attend shows in Marin or other areas where there was no public transit, but not for long. I have an email from Rod where he explains that he has to go through the city to get to Mill Valley anyway, so he might as well pick me up for a show at the Sweetwater. I don’t remember what show; I just remember the rationale (which I don’t even think is true now that I think about it). Later he started to pick me up in the city and we would drive to Santa Cruz for shows. We went to Moe’s Alley and the Crepe Place and of course, The Catalyst. Sometimes we would make a day of it and stop at The Pescadero Country Store and wind our way down Highway 1. We went to Fresno to see our boys, The Brothers Comatose. He took me to places I hadn’t been and introduced me to bands and singers / songwriters that I didn’t know. So much new music! We always had such a good time together. He knew me so well; I sometimes thought he was in my head. I can remember being at show and having him lean forward from behind me and say ‘you are hating every minute of this, aren’t you?’ and my being shocked that he knew that I hated it; he couldn’t see my face and I hadn’t said anything, but he knew.

We also established our friendship as purely platonic pretty early on when Rod told me that he liked his women half crazy, but I was too crazy for him. We were at the UC Theatre at a Brothers Comatose show when he said it to me. I still do not know what prompted the statement (not denying my craziness, but this did not appear to be in response to a specific incident). I guess it’s the timing of that comment that I questioned.

Thanks for this photo from Sarah Shook at BotH, Beth! One of the many bands Rod introduced me to

And like Andee said on the facebook post, I love how much he took care of everyone but not in an overprotective way. He really did take care of me and the rest of the LOLMs. When my cousin Jamie died, he was so freaking caring and careful. I can’t explain it but we had a big group going to a Shovels & Rope show at the Fillmore for my birthday celebration with pre-gaming at The Social Study and he helped make it all okay.

He was my bodyguard at shows. I could be right up front and he was right behind me. I rarely got jostled. I always had a drink in my hand (usually water the past few years, but sometimes it was Rod or Pat’s beer and in the beginning it was mine). At HSB (and other festivals), he and his Ford Focus were our chariot to and from the park and he was our sherpa. Because of his prominence in my life, my mom requested that Rod come to meet her when she visited in December 2019. With my mom visiting, I wasn’t going to any shows; therefore, Rod and I didn’t have any plans to see each other. He was in town to see a show with his buddy, John, and he made the time to come over to meet my mom. My mom loved him. She called him the big guy and she always asked about him.

Rod the sherpa

When we were going to the outdoor shows (especially in this past 6 – 9 months or so), he’d grab my seltzers and add them to his cooler that it seemed he always had with him. If a chair was needed, he’d bring one for me (because I have a bad habit of losing chairs; I can’t explain it, but this is why I can’t have nice things.) That cooler and the plastic bag in his car that had all his ‘tricks’; his pipe and weed and lighter, his edibles, his ear protection. Life was so good! It’ll definitely be different now.

Before Rod, I went to a lot of shows by myself. Often I would meet new people at the show, but I would be alone. After Rod, it was rare to go to a show by myself and even if I did, I would run into people that Rod and I had met at other shows. In October when the Felice Brothers were at the Great American, Rod was out of town and I went to the show alone. I wasn’t there long before I ran into Brian and Drew and John. We met so many people at shows! And when we met new people, Rod used to pimp me out (or at least pimp out our blog). He’d be talking to someone new or he’d see me talking to someone new and he’d immediately ask me or remind me to give them a DidWeJam card.

When we weren’t at shows together, we sent each other photos or video clips from the shows where we were. I can remember being at Red Wing Roots (RWR) in VA and texting Rod to tell him how much he would love the current performer and then he would go and research them and let me know if they were going to be in SF. Kuinka is a great example of one of these bands. It was so easy to get him to go to a show and I know I’ve said it before, but we always had such a damned good time. I’m thinking about the Chuck Prophet show with Garland Jeffreys at GAMH in April 2016 and the Sweet Spirit show at Brick and Mortar in May 2017. God, we had fun! It such a jumble of memories right now and each one takes me somewhere else. I could probably write a book at this point (I’ve been writing this for two full days now), so I’ll try to keep it to a few highlights. February 2017 when Rod got us into a sold out show at the Boathouse in Berkeley to see Birds of Chicago (Thanks Tom Downing!). August 2017 when he got us into a sold out show at the Hotel Utah to see Tyler Childers right as Tyler Childers was starting to take off (Thanks Sarah Rosenberg!). I mean think about it… we saw Tyler Childers at the Hotel Utah! I talked to him! I’m not even sure if Rod knew who Tyler Childers was when that show was announced; I only knew one song, but I LOVED that song (Charleston Girl). It was a great show (except for people who like to talk in / through shows; they’re everywhere).

LOLM Happy Hour in the backyard

Even during the pandemic in SF when we weren’t allowed to see people if they didn’t live with us and there were no live music events, Rod would drive the 2-1/2 hours into the city to hang out in my backyard. As soon as I could get us invited to outdoor shows, he was my ride to Piedmont for shows at the Fox Den. Our first show back together was on April 20th when we went to see John Craigie with Pat but we went to as many others as we could; he introduced me to Evie Laden who I loved and we also were able to see Steve Poltz and Terrier (for anyone who doesn’t know that’s Ben Morrison from The Brothers Comatose and Erika Tietjen from The T Sisters band). That was a really good show! They all were! Even when the show itself wasn’t good (which was rare), something happened to make it good or at least memorable.

The last show that Rod and I went to together was The Mavericks at the Fillmore on November 14th. It was our first time back to the Fillmore since the before times. It was a sold out show and we got a poster. It had been a really good show and a really good night. I imagine that when he dropped me at my house and I was getting out of the car and poking my head in to say goodbye and try to nail down what was next, he said ‘We’ll talk.’ as he did almost every night when he dropped me at my door. We didn’t talk. We texted up until the day his heart failed, but we didn’t talk again. I’m pretty sure next was John Moreland at the Independent.

We had a good run leading up to that last show. We had gone to three shows the week before that (Carsie Blanton at the Freight where we even had a little bit of a crew, Carsie at Moe’s the next night, and then Paul Thorn at Cornerstone for my and Crystelle’s birthday. Rod and I didn’t take a lot of selfies when it was only us at the shows, so the last selfie I have is this one from The Wood Brothers at the Fox in October. It was a fantastic show and we had a damned good time.

*Spike needs his own special section of this Rod tribute: Spike is my cat. He’s an old guy now; he’s 17 or so. Rod was pretty much Spike’s favorite person. He was one of Spike’s regular caretakers when I was out of town. This was a win-win as it gave Rod a place in the city to crash for a couple nights so he didn’t have to do all that driving (though he was always welcome to crash here) and it gave Spike extra access to Rod. I remember one day Rod was here in the afternoon and he was napping on my couch. I think I had just gotten home from a trip and we were going to a show together than evening. I walked in to the living room to find Rod on his back on the couch and Spike sleeping on his chest under Rod’s beard as if Rod’s beard was a blanket. It was one of the funniest things and I wish I had gotten a photo. If you want to know more about Spike, you can check out my personal Instagram account or look for his hashtag (#selfieswithspike). Even RBG Skittles (#rgbskittles among others #notmycat #mightbemycat), the feral who adopted me and doesn’t like anyone but me is willing to sniff Rod.

Spike with Rod looking on, January 2019
Skittles with Rod, August 2021

If you knew Rod, you knew that his motto was ‘always go to the show’. He even had it on a tee-shirt. In your honor, my friend, I will do my best to *always* go to the show! It will be more difficult now, without you, and I imagine that there will be some tears, but I will continue to try to live by that motto.

RIP Rod Pursell. I’m going to miss you! I loved you! Thank you so much for leaving me with so many fond memories.

Ways to Reduce Your Environmental Impact

By Ella Stern

“…remember that even though you aren’t an elected government official, you still have a voice, and the best way to make lasting change is to use it.”

Climate change: one of the most pressing issues of our time, one that affects the very future our generation will or will not have on this planet. From the largest corporations to each individual, humanity urgently needs to change its ways.

The issue is, there’s a lot of dialogue about the problems, but not as much about how to be part of the solution. Some of the actions that prevent the most emissions (greenhouse gases released into the air) are switching to a renewable energy source, living car-free, avoiding air travel, and being vegetarian or vegan. But what some people don’t know is that there are many smaller, easier steps that also reduce one’s negative impact on the climate.

1. Conserve Energy.

One of the easiest ways to reduce your effect on the climate is to simply turn things off when you’re not using them. This sounds obvious, but think about it: how often do you leave lights on in a room you’ve left? Keep a device on when you’re not using it? Leave the charger in the wall when you unplug a device? Leave the water running? The list goes on. Even if you are coming back soon, there is no reason to leave things on when no one is there. It takes just a second to flip a switch or unplug a charger, which is worth it to help the environment. Similarly, it is good to turn down the heat (in the winter) or air conditioning (in the summer) when you leave the house. Another strategy is setting goals for things that conserve energy, like taking shorter showers. For example, you can try to reduce your shower time by a minute a month in order to decrease the amount of water you use.

While this is important, there are some household appliances that use much more energy than others. One of these is the clothes dryer. One load in the dryer takes the same amount of energy as leaving an LED light on for about 300 hours. Hanging your clothes up to dry instead of putting them in the dryer saves a lot of energy. Even if you only skip the dryer when you have time or when it is warm out, skipping it sometimes is better than not skipping it at all. Additionally, you can save energy by using cold water instead of hot water to wash your clothes. This saves approximately 144 lbs of carbon dioxide emissions each year.

2. Compost, Simple Recycle, and Recycle (Correctly!)

41% of the trash that comes from households in my town is food waste. Composting is a solution that reduces the amount of trash that ends up in landfills, gives nutrients to the soil, and absorbs carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. Rather than throwing your food waste in the trash, you put it in the compost bin. It gets turned into soil that can then grow more plants to help the environment. Depending on your composting service, you can sometimes compost things like paper towels and coffee filters as well. My family started composting years ago and it has easily cut our amount of trash in half. 

Another trash-reducing service is simple recycling, which recycles old clothes and household appliances. As Simple Recycling’s website says, without curbside recycling services like this one, 85% of clothes and usable home goods – 20 billion pounds of them – go to landfills rather than getting recycled or donated. And in addition to being good for the environment, in some places, Simple Recycling is free!

I’m sure everyone has heard many times about the importance of recycling. But it is just as important to make sure you’re recycling the correct things. Putting something non-recyclable in the recycling bin is much worse than putting it in the trash (where it should go). It clogs up the recycling machines, can contaminate other items, has to be transported to a landfill, and sometimes requires money to be spent to purchase new machines. Some common recycling mistakes are recycling things like Dunkin’ cups and takeout containers that have a wax finish, and not washing residue off of otherwise recyclable things. Recycling rules change in different places, so it is important to double-check. 

3. Plant Trees.

Another very simple way to help the climate is to plant trees. Many things in this article just reduce carbon dioxide emissions, but trees go a step farther by taking existing carbon dioxide out of the air. They absorb it and store it as they grow. According to this article, “research estimates that a worldwide planting programme could remove two-thirds of all the emissions from human activities that remain in the atmosphere today.” Because of this, some cities have initiated plans to plant a certain number of trees in a certain amount of time. Also, the search engine Ecosia donates its profits to tree-planting: the more searches on Ecosia, the more trees get planted.

Trees aren’t the only plants that absorb carbon dioxide. Garden plants not only take CO2 from the atmosphere, they prevent it from getting there in the first place. Food transportation accounts for about 5% of food emissions. If you grow food in a garden, you won’t have as much need for produce that has been transported a long distance and might have been farmed in a way that was unsafe for the workers.

4. Food

Food makes up 10%-30% of a household’s carbon footprint as well as one-quarter of the world’s greenhouse gas emissions. The environmental impact of food comes from many factors, like land being cleared for growing, emissions that come from farming, water pollution that comes from farming, water and energy needed to create the final product, emissions from transporting the food and keeping it fresh, single-use packaging, and food waste, among other things. You certainly don’t need to completely cut off your consumption of certain foods, but here are some things to consider.

Red meat, like beef and lamb, is the food with the largest carbon footprint. Beef from dedicated beef herds gives off 60 kg of CO2 emissions per kg of food. Cheese and other dairy products, chocolate, and coffee are some of the other foods that give off the most emissions. Because of this, eating vegan, vegetarian, or no-red-meat is a great way to reduce your impact on the environment, as shown by this infographic. For example, one person switching to a vegan diet reduces 1.5 tons of carbon emissions per year. Additionally, it takes 300 gallons of water per day to produce the food for a vegan diet, as compared to 4,000 gallons per day for a meat-eating diet. However, going vegan can be very difficult for a variety of personal, health, and financial reasons. The good news is that reducing consumption of the foods that are worst for the environment (for example, rarely eating red meat) is still far better for the environment than doing nothing at all.

If you want to learn more, this article dives into the specifics of the things that contribute to the climate impact of food.

5. Shop Sustainably.

Sustainability when shopping can come in the form of avoiding single-use items, shopping second-hand so as to reuse existing items, and not buying more than you need.

Avoiding single-use items, especially plastics, is crucial for the safety of our oceans and their wildlife. The world is currently putting about eight millions tons of plastic into the ocean each year: the equivalent of a garbage truck’s worth of plastic every minute. This has resulted in countless disasters, including animals eating or getting trapped in the plastic, a garbage patch twice as big as Texas, and microplastics finding their way back into the foods we eat. Even though single-use plastic is pervasive in our society, there is good news: there are plenty of alternatives constantly popping up. By definition, the alternatives last longer than single-use plastic, so they pay off in the long run. Investing in a reusable water bottle, bringing cloth bags to the grocery store, packing lunch in reusable sandwich bags and containers rather than plastic and tinfoil, using cloth napkins rather than paper ones, carrying reusable straws or even takeout containers with you when going to get food, and supporting places that recycle and use reusables are all good ways to help.

In the past year or two, thrifting has become more popular, and for good reason. When done in a conscientious way, shopping second-hand and upcycling is better for the environment. “Fast fashion” refers to the ever-changing trends in clothes that cause people to buy trendy things that they only wear for a short period of time. The climate impact of this stacks up quickly. 400 gallons of water are needed to produce a T-shirt, and 1,800 gallons are needed to produce a pair of jeans. 60% of fibers in fabric are synthetics, which come from fossil fuels. 85% of textiles end up in landfills or the incinerator. 20% of industrial water pollution comes from the manufacturing of garments. Therefore, it is best to be mindful of what we buy by trying to purchase used items and not buy more than we need. However, it is important to be aware that shopping second-hand is a necessity, not a choice, for low-income people.

6. Take Action.

Finally, remember that even though you aren’t an elected government official, you still have a voice, and the best way to make lasting change is to use it. For any issue, you can write to your representatives, organizations, companies, places in your community – you name it – to let them know what you think and/or to give them advice on how to improve. Environment-specific ideas include writing to a company or corporation that gives off lots of emissions or uses materials that are damaging to the environment. (You could write to one of the 100 companies that are responsible for a staggering 71% of the world’s carbon emissions. Coca-Cola has been the largest source of plastic pollution in the oceans for multiple years: give it suggestions for plastic-free innovations. Ask your local grocery store to adopt a plastic bag tax. Tell your favorite restaurant and the farms where it gets its food about the importance of reducing food loss and food waste.) You could also research climate legislation that is currently being considered. Then you can write to congresspeople, President Biden’s advisors, or even the President himself to ask that they approve or tweak the legislation so that it is best for the environment and the people.

The effects of climate change are felt unevenly. The people and countries that have the fewest opportunities and resources to be environmentally friendly often get hit with the worst climate disasters. I would argue that, aside from a duty to the future of the planet, those that have a larger effect on climate change (wealthier people and countries) have a larger obligation to help.

There are a lot of climate problems today, and a lot of solutions, too. It is easy to become overwhelmed by the amount of things it seems you are being told to change. Remember that you don’t have to change everything, and especially not all at once. Doing what you can, when you can, as well as speaking up for the planet, is the only way things will get better. It is crucial to do the work now so that the planet is liveable in the future.

Dreams Really Can Come True

By Jenn Marks (of DidWeJam)

It’s a well known fact that The Brothers Comatose is my favorite local band and is in my top-five favorite bands, period. Yes, I felt I needed to emphasize the period there. 

The author (far right in sunglasses) with Jill and The Brothers Comatose & KC Turner as the Photo Bomber

Last weekend, a long time dream (one that pre-pandemic, I would have said was unattainable) was realized. The Brothers Comatose* played a backyard concert just for me**. So many people helped to make this dream a reality, not least of all the amazing Jill Katz who hosted this backyard concert at Beauty!! KC Turner played a pivotal role when he decided to make lemonade out of the lemons that COVID brought, by organizing backyard and driveway concerts, including this one. And of course, The Brothers Comatose, who really are the kindest, funniest talent that I’ve ever had the pleasure of getting to know, played a key role.

*The Brothers Comatose Trio played at Jill’s. The trio consists of the brothers Ben Morrison (guitar, vocals), and Alex Morrison (banjo, vocals); and Philip Brezina (violin, vocals and pure gold).

** just for me and 30 of Jill’s closest friends who were available on a Sunday afternoon in July.

I really don’t know how to explain what I mean about The Brothers Comatose without being too wordy, but I also feel like that’s a key part of this story so here goes. I ‘met’ The Brothers Comatose within a year of moving back to San Francisco after my 6-year tour of the other [inferior] C states. Teri and I went to a festival in Big Sur and The Brothers Comatose were the closing band the one night and they were just amazing. Teri remembers ‘Trippin’ Down the Mountain’. I remember ‘Dead Flowers’. We both remember the lads (not the Brothers) licking the light bulb and what a fun time everyone was having. Chopsticks were passed around so that the audience could provide some percussion. It really was a night and subsequently we sought them out in and around the city. We bought their CDs at the festival and listened to them (and Pete Bernhard) the entire way home.

I remember talking to Ben at the Sweetwater after a show and buying a t-shirt and talking about the festival and how much we enjoyed them. I remember talking to him and Alex before or after one of their shows at Brick & Mortar with Crystelle. Not long after that, I was running into Ben at shows around town and he would always stop and chat. And he’d remember my name which always surprised me since he has so many fans. They have never disappointed at a show and they are always as nice as can be when approached ‘in real life’. I’ve taken so many friends to see The Brothers Comatose at so many venues. I’ve sent friends in other states (TX, MD) to see them. I’ve seen them in Tahoe, in Virginia, in NYC. and I would have seen them in DC too, if it weren’t for flight delays. I’ve had songs dedicated to me (The Van Song at the Red Wings Roots festival in VA) and Ben has made it clear from the stage that I am *not* the stalker that he sings about in his song ‘I Hope You’re Not Sorry’. I’ve sat with Ben and Alex’s mom at shows in the city. They’re genuinely nice people!

Another fun fact: Ben turned me on to Lake Street Dive before people knew Lake Street Dive because he knew I would dig Bridget.

The fact that I had this dream of TBC playing a private show for me and now it was happening, after our long 13 years of lockdown (yes, it was really only months, but some of those months felt like more than a year) was more than I could have ever hoped. I honestly didn’t think there was anything that could be better than that and then suddenly it was happening.

I had spent 13 months of Friday virtual zoom happy hours with Ben (and Erika and later Desi and sometimes Alex and others) and here’s Ben walking in and hugging me. And then I was catching up with Ben and Alex and Phil as they were setting up and then suddenly they were playing. And they were so good! I love their new songs that they’ve put out during the pandemic and they played all of our favorites and Phil told entertaining stories that really were pure gold, and it was just a good time. My face hurt from smiling and laughing and I couldn’t stay in my seat; I had to get up and dance.

There were only 30 of us, so it was really intimate. They were playing what we (I) wanted to hear. They even called me up to the stage to consult on their final song. I was able to negotiate two final songs because they had promised ‘Trippin’ Down The Mountain’ to someone at the beginning, but they [almost] always end with ‘The Scout’ and it’s a favorite. They agreed with my logic (I logic good with beer) and sent me back to my spot, but not before they acknowledged me as their manager. Like I said, I didn’t think it could be any better than my own personal TBC backyard concert and then I was the manager and that *was* better. So there you go.

I’m not really sure that anything will actually surpass last Sunday. I’m not sure that I need anything to surpass last Sunday. I do know that I needed last Sunday in a way that I didn’t realize. It was so good to be surrounded by that much love and good music in such an intimate and beautiful setting.















 

Thoughts on Watching “Summer of Soul”

By Leah S. Abrams

If you were to watch the recently released documentary, “Summer of Soul” and, the next day, watch the “Woodstock” footage, both shot in the summer of 1969, one seen by multiple generations and the other – the astounding other – having sat in a basement for over fifty years, I challenge you to come away not feeling like two entirely different countries are on display. Not surprisingly, I would choose to live in the country represented by the lost footage of Harlem.

I remember my reaction to seeing the “Woodstock” footage – I have a vague recollection of later watching some uncut version which I recall largely as an error in judgement. I was utterly disheartened. I’d been so enamored with the idea of it, I was a fan of many of the presenting artists, so taken with the idea of a music festival that stood for something – was a protest for peace and a bucking of “the system.”

But the stories of things like not taking the “bad acid” had not been exaggerated and I recall thinking, mostly, “oh, gods, I never would’ve gone there. Look at all that mud and how are they all so OK being utterly filthy and who in hell wants to be naked in that with those east coast summer bugs and who exactly brings a kid to this sort of thing?”

How is it that I – that most all of us unless we’d been there or heard from someone who had been – never knew that, over the same summer, down in the city, in the heart of Harlem which had, that previous year, experienced such unbearable grief and devastation, there was a free multi-concert series as part of the, not first, but third Harlem Cultural Festival – a Summer of Soul series? Here in Manhattan, massive crowds of every age assembled, a community-wide family picnic, to hear a line-up that made my jaw literally drop and prompted a text to my mother that I’d found the festival for her, the woman who never could comprehend my fascination with Woodstock and was rightly appalled by my various attempts at a “hippie” look over several decades.

Where Woodstock claimed to be a festival about peace and love, it comes across, frankly, as a college party you call “epic” and, if you see it played back, recognize as a mucky mess whose grandness was nothing more than a drug and alcohol induced momentary epiphany that fades with sobriety and where the performers are your basic train wreck. I wasn’t sure where there was any actual mission or missive on display.

Now, all these decades on, they release what is surprisingly high video and audio quality of what was going on, simultaneously and all summer long, in a neighborhood that has long held a most special place in my heart because it is home to so many of my favorite writers and musicians (not to mention eateries).

In Harlem that summer, they were walking the walk – here was a festival whose mission did not smack you over the head nor hide itself entirely – no, this was the real deal where you get swept up, overtaken by this spirit, this very clear vision of how things really are in both the pain and the incredibly hopeful strength of community with a calling to embrace that, to rise up and show the powers that be what neighbor-caring-for-neighborhood can look like.

That summer of 1969, in Marcus Garvey Park (then, and still also, Mount Morris Park), struck me as several weeks of experiencing “Passing Strange” for the first time, with a slightly new cast and script each week. I should explain – I have never before or since been taken to another world, one so clearly not based in the realm of the physical body but in the realm of souls, as when I saw an early preview performance of “Passing Strange” when they still had costume pieces and an extra 45 minutes of material. I have only come close to reliving the experience upon subsequent live performance viewings of that show and each time I introduce someone to the Spike Lee filming of it… until I watched this documentary – this transformative church-like experience.

As a Jewish Unitarian Universalist upon whom the similarities between Judaism and Islam have never been lost and who likes to imagine herself a Druid, I assure you I use that church term universally. It isn’t that it is a holy experience, it is a transformative call to get on our feet, to celebrate life – the act of living, and to take action.

The Reverend Stephen Kendrick, in a sermon at First Church Boston some weeks back, talked about the ongoing struggle and that we have to always be fighting for what we can do to make things in the world more just, more fair, but that it isn’t about peace – that we cannot fix a world in which we simply find ourselves, like any other living thing that has come to being here. We did not create the world and so why should we be so arrogant (that may be my phrasing) as to think we can “fix” it? What we can do is be in the present moment, take in the world and experiences of others in it, and then fully embody the joy while also working toward a shared betterment – not an absolute solution where there is none.

That sermon came to mind more than once while watching Questlove’s stunningly brilliant documentary, “Summer of Soul.” With each performance, not to mention each interview and filmed reaction for the documentary itself, the message was alive – it’s broken, but we’re working to fix it and we are rejoicing in what is beautiful in and around us, come on and do it with us.

I want to remind you that, in the preceding half decade, four of the most influential Civil Rights leaders were assassinated, with Malcolm X having been murdered here in NYC, just north of Harlem, during an era when the mainstream media largely portrayed this beloved neighborhood of resilience suffering from systemic neglect, this place that was home to some of our nation’s should-be-most-recognized legendary artists of every variety over multiple generations as violent, decrepit, a place to be avoided, pitied, feared. Adding insult to injury, a picture emerged of the Black Panthers – community members providing free meals to kids and families, offering security in a place under-protected both by a lack of police presence and a suspicious, violent response from the police who were there – as violent insurrectionists.

Here I’d like to note that the only actual destructive insurrectionists in our nation’s history have been white nationalists, like the people who successfully breached the Capitol  on Jan. 6th, with the help of some active members of Congress, the military, and police officers, threatening death to members of the government, including raising a gallows to hang the V.P. And, so that you don’t forget, these people came waving Confederate flags, sporting swastikas.

But I digress. Or do I? As much as “Summer of Soul” was a transportive spiritual experience, I was continually struck by all the political and social messaging embodied by this festival, particularly as contrasted with Woodstock.

Think about it – at a time of extremely heightened racial tensions, there existed, among other lost footage no doubt, this account of what Harlem was really about, who the Black Panthers actually were and all the care they offered that could be a balanced model for those now railing against what I’ll call reimagining rather than defunding the police, and what preachers like Jesse Jackson were truly saying and how affecting that message should be universally, and it was ignored. On top of that, you had on display mind-blowing performances by the country’s greatest musicians – Stevie Wonder, an almost unbelievably young Gladys Knight and the Pips, B.B. King, Sly and The Family Stone, a positively glorious Nina Simone, and on and on and on. There is a moment with Mavis Staples and Mahalia Jackson that literally brought me to tears.

These aren’t just the best of the best in music because, to be completely fair, some of those folks were at Woodstock and a select few, including Richie Havens (a personal hero, thanks to my mother and children’s television), gave brilliant performances, but this Harlem festival footage showcases superb camera work, editing, and sound engineering, all lacking from Woodstock. And then there is the documentary that Questlove has put together to finally share this film with the world – the two can be hard to distinguish.

I guess what I’m getting at is that this is all suspicious, no? While being abundantly clear? If I were in charge of a U.S. promotional campaign, I would for damn sure be putting this doc and not Woodstock into the world. I think back to some of my high school and jr. high teachers who could have had access to this for their creative history teaching approaches and feel again the too frequent disappointment in my country.

But then I take myself where a glimpse of this great cultural festival took me – to a recognition that, no matter how hard people may try to wipe out history, it hangs on to eventually be exposed and, in this case, provide a cynical-leaning me with reason for pride and gratitude toward that same country that is home to such tremendous spirit and talent and community strength.

We must, as it has long been said, simply keep on fighting on, appreciating each small step forward even as we know they go too in reverse in what may be the best evidence we have that time is not at all a linear path toward a destination or ultimate resolution. We journey ‘round, momentarily grateful for this bit of inspiring history coming to light, this collection of material that, as Mavis Staples describes: ““All of it is good – all of it makes you feel good.”

Positively Pivoting

By Chrissy Brooks

Chrissy shared the first of this series with us back in March – find out where folks are at now and take a look back at where they were:

Today I am poolside, reveling in the joys of an outdoor club pool where my kids can swim in the California sunshine.  Our athletic club recently re-opened for recreational swimming, although registration is very limited due to COVID restrictions. Nevertheless, we are ecstatic to return to the pool, even if we have to socially distance from others. Three months ago, the possibility of bringing my kids to the pool seemed unlikely.; but today I feel hopeful that maybe we can soon return to a new kind of normal. 

Since my last blog, Pivoting During the Pandemic, my live performance career has been frozen in time. With little work for me in Musical Theater, and my husband working remotely, my family has decided to relocate this summer to the Monterey Peninsula, leaving behind the bustling Silicon Valley. Like so many others, we decided that we wanted to keep some aspects of the slower pace of life we experienced because of quarantine and COVID restrictions. Since March 2020, our lives have changed, and in effect, we now lead a much for balanced life. 

I feel hopeful that the changes we have made, and will be making this summer, will be positive for my family. I am currently unemployed, but busy focusing on my family and our big move to the Monterey Peninsula. Although Musical Theater and performance venues are starting to re-open, I am hesitant to hurl myself back into a career that pays little money for a lot of work. 

Once we have settled down, I hope to explore different areas of interest, specifically: voice over, writing, recording, and real estate.

I feel brave for choosing to pivot during this historic time, but I also feel supported by others who have also chosen to seize this opportunity and take a leap of faith. 

Three months ago, Leandra was fearlessly looking for a career and life change, after finding work in costume design lacking in both money and time for self care. Today, Leandra and her partner Skylar own newly renovated Suzon’s Coffee Lounge in Sequim, Washington. Leandra is her own boss now, and feels passionate about her work. Her career change was inevitable, she says, “because I [she] was working way too hard and not seeing the financial pay off for my work. I was making major sacrifices in my personal life, and was experiencing burn out at a very young age. I want to work to live, not live to work.” Leandra still believes that pivoting careers was necessary, and she urges others wanting a change to “trust your intuition and follow it. I believe that you will not be led astray”. If you’d like to follow her journey of first time coffee shop owners, please follow Leandra and Skylar on Instagram @suzonscoffeelounge

Last we spoke with Katie Coleman, she had left the SF Bay Area, after closing Hamilton with the SF Company, where she was musical director and pianist. She had relocated to New York City, where she earned her real estate license in February 2021. Since then, Katie has done over 40 real estate deals, and is enjoying her new career. She is “so glad I [she] made the jump and would do it over again in a heartbeat.” Although Broadway is still closed, she hopes she can find a balance in her future post pandemic life where she can incorporate both her new and old career. She says, “I used to define so much of who I was by the job I had, but now I know that no matter how much of myself I put into my job, even if the world decides it no longer needs that industry, I’m able to pivot and find success elsewhere.” 

Tripp Hudgins also relocated during the pandemic, traveling with his family cross country from California to Virginia to be closer to family. He remains unemployed since March 2021, and is hoping to finish his dissertation by the Fall. For Tripp, pivoting was necessary but difficult. He says, “It’s terrible. And necessary”. He still encourages others to pivot if they feel like a change is needed, but he also wants others to know that realistic expectations are important to remember when things “may or may not come your way”. He hopes to make himself more marketable by finishing his dissertation, and possibly get a job in the tech sector, since academic jobs are presently hard to come by. 

Nina Meehan, CEO and founder of Bay Area Children’s Theater Company (BACT), has continued to adapt to make her company successful. With the help of her Artistic Director, Khalia Davis, Nina was able to focus on strategizing the re-emergence of BACT in a post COVID world, while her company shifted to audio and online programming. Nina has also used this time to focus on and create a leadership structure in her company that allows for more input from staff members, so that she feels confident in their decision making powers. Her confidence did take time to cultivate though. She says, “There is no change without risk.  Taking that big risk can feel scary and you have to dive straight into the fear and truly feel it, which a lot of us avoid.” Nina is happy to share that BACT will be opening their first live outdoor show since March 2020. You can buy tickets for “Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus” here: https://bactheatre.org/tickets-events/dont-let-the-pigeon-drive-the-bus/

Adaptation, according to the Oxford Dictionary, is “a change or the process of change by which an organism or species becomes better suited to its environment.” And, so, we must adapt to be successful in this post COVID world. Leandra, Katie, Tripp and Nina have all pivoted because of the necessary adjustments needed in their lives to be successful. Like my friends, I too, have pivoted. Was it the right move? Only time will tell. But today, I feel hopeful.